adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Area Dad Talking About Pete Maravich Again

INDIANAPOLIS—While watching a recent Pacers-Cavaliers game with his 31-year-old son Daniel, Paul Steitzer, 64, began talking about former Jazz and Hawks legend "Pistol" Pete Maravich, marking the sixth time this season that Steitzer has brought up the Hall of Fame point guard from out of nowhere. "I don't know what makes him think about Pete Maravich, but all of a sudden he'll start saying things like 'He's no Maravich,' or 'Maravich would have made that pass,'" said the younger Steitzer, adding that over the last 30 years, his father has compared Pete Maravich to nearly every point guard in the league, as well as to Moses Malone and Anthony Mason. "Whenever he talks about Maravich, he always brings up how quick he was and says 'whoa boy' a lot." Steitzer later told reporters that his father even talks about Maravich in situations that do not traditionally involve basketball, noting that before his wedding last June, Steitzer took a moment to tell his son how Maravich would often perform "this crazy fake wrist pass thing."

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close