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Area Dad Wants To Watch New Blu-Ray Of ‘Spring Breakers’ By Himself

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Area Dad Wants To Watch New Blu-Ray Of ‘Spring Breakers’ By Himself

PAOLI, PA—Instructing his wife and children to stay away from the den for the next few hours, area dad Dave Landler has announced that he wants to watch a new Blu-ray DVD of Spring Breakers, the 2012 film starring Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens, alone. “I’m just going to have a little movie night by myself tonight, guys, so I’d appreciate some privacy while the movie’s on,” said Landler, 49, while opening the DVD box for the Harmony Korine–directed film about four college-aged girls on a spring break trip to Florida. “It’s about two hours long, so I’ll probably be done in about two hours or so. In fact, why don’t you guys go out and get some food, on me. Maybe get some ice cream later, too. Take your time.” Sources reported the last time Landler watched a movie alone in the den was when he borrowed a DVD copy of the 2002 film Blue Crush from fellow dad Jeff Pritzker.

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