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Area Family Awakes To Find Michelle Obama Tending Backyard Garden

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Lawn and Garden

Dad Locks Into Elaborate Chess Match With Lawn Mower Salesman

TACOMA, WA—Intermittently shifting his gaze between his opponent and the product brochure in his hands as he shrewdly calculated his next move, local father Thomas McCabe became locked into an intricate chess match Thursday with riding lawn mower salesman Keith Porter, family sources reported.

No One In Family Sure Who Trip To Arboretum Is Geared Toward

SUMMIT, NJ—Filing uncertainly into the main hallway of the property’s welcome center, each member of the Robertson family privately admitted to reporters Saturday that they had no idea which of them their weekend trip to the arboretum was geared toward.

Obama Follows White Stallion Into Moonlit Rose Garden

WASHINGTON—After waking to a faint rustle of hooves upon fallen leaves and peering out his window to glimpse a silvery mane in the distant mist, President Barack Obama reportedly followed a white stallion through the White House Rose Garden in the early moonlit hours of Thursday morning.

Dad Busy Throwing Seeds Or Something On Lawn

WARRENSBURG, MO—Speculating that it’s probably meant to make the grass greener or fuller or something, living room sources reported Thursday that local dad Brian Winfield, 45, is currently busy throwing little seeds of some kind all over the f...
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Lawn and Garden

Area Family Awakes To Find Michelle Obama Tending Backyard Garden

HENNIKER, NH—Sources within the Cafferty household confirmed that at approximately 8 a.m. Friday the family awoke, peered out their kitchen window, and saw what was, unmistakably, the first lady of the United States kneeling in their backyard garden and humming softly to herself as she tended to a patch of heirloom tomatoes. "Look, she's wearing a big gardening hat, and I think she's planting kale or something," whispered Adam Cafferty, 43, who at one point made prolonged eye contact with Michelle Obama before she smiled broadly and returned to pulling out weeds. "That cucumber plant was definitely not there before. How long has she been out there?" Upon standing up and surveying her work, Obama reportedly gave the Caffertys a friendly wave, calmly walked around to their neighbor’s yard, and began working on the next garden.

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