Area Father Beginning To Suspect 3-Year-Old A Real Ding-Dong

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Vol 48 Issue 47

Just A Gray TV Screen

Just A Gray TV Screen (PBS) 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST The highly anticipated American debut adapted from the British hit Just A Grey Telly Screen.

Cash Cab

Discovery 5 p.m. EST/4 p.m. CST A passenger in a deepening state of anaphylactic shock is unable to answer the three trivia questions posed to him and is consequently kicked out of the taxi eight blocks shy of Beth Israel’s emergency room.

Not A Shithole

It’s not a shithole. Sure, it could use some work, the plumbing’s not great, and there might be a foundation issue, but come on, a shithole? Why does everyone keep saying that?
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Area Father Beginning To Suspect 3-Year-Old A Real Ding-Dong

CLEVELAND—Local dad Kevin Marshall, 29, began to voice concerns Monday that his 3-year-old son Bryant might be a real ding-dong, household sources confirmed. “I don’t know about that kid. Starting to look like there's not much going on upstairs,” said Marshall of the 3-year-old whom he called a turkey, a dingus, and a real dud. “Sometimes I just want to say, ‘Hello! Knock, knock, you dope. Anyone home?’ I think we may have a real lemon on our hands.” Marshall confirmed that his son is “a real sweet kid, though.”

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