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Area Gambler Likes Those Odds

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Area Gambler Likes Those Odds

RENO, NV—Area gambler Steve Ehrlich, in an official statement to his lucky dice at a Caesar's Palace craps table Monday, announced that he "likes those odds." Ehrlich, who has lost over $40,000 gambling in the past year, plans to regain the sum several times over in the next few hours via a "can't-miss" combination of lady luck and "that old Ehrlich magic." "My lucky stars are shining tonight," he said. "By this time tomorrow, my double mortgage will be paid off in full, and I'll be rolling in the do-re-mi, baby."

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