Area Maggot Has Urgent News About Reincarnation

Top Headlines

Recent News

Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.


Area Maggot Has Urgent News About Reincarnation

NEONTA, NY–A cabbage maggot called a press conference Tuesday to reveal "urgent" news concerning humanity and the afterlife. "First and foremost, I can tell you from firsthand experience that reincarnation is very real," the maggot said. "Second, though becoming a corporate attorney may seem like an easy route to making loads of money and living the good life, it will ultimately leave you feeling profoundly empty inside. Become a teacher or social worker instead." The maggot then returned to eating a rotting dog carcass.