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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Area Man Can Tell Commercial Will Be For Corona

BISBEE, AZ—Local man James Fitzner, 42, was able to successfully predict within seven seconds that a recent 30-second TV commercial was advertising Corona, despite having never seen the ad in his life. "I knew right away because it was really silent and the camera started zooming out a little bit and they never show the beach at first—they try to trick you," said the media-savvy Fitzner, who in the past has been able to identify ads for MasterCard and Red Bull before the product was mentioned. "Then, as soon as I heard the sound of waves in the background, I just said to myself, 'Corona.'" Fitzner's son David, 16, said that after the beer bottle appeared on screen, his father turned to him and winked.
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