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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Area Man Determined To Make The Best Of Situation Comedy

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’ll “just have to put [his] head down and get through this thing,” area man Martin Mull, 70, told reporters Thursday that he’s made up his mind to make the best of the situation comedy he’s in. “Obviously no one wants to find themselves in a situation comedy like this, but that’s just how life is sometimes, so I might as well soldier on,” Mull said, adding that his predicament was simply “one of those unavoidable situation comedies that crop up from time to time.” “You don’t plan these things. You hope they don’t happen. But when you find yourself in a situation comedy like the one I’m up against, you just have to put it in perspective and focus on the finish line.” Mull said he was confident he would be able to find the silver living in his unfortunate circumstances, adding that “After all, it’s not like I haven’t been in shittier situation comedies than this.”

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