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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Area Man Filled With Sudden Desire To Go Outside And Play Basketball

BLOOMINGTON, IN—For the first time in "a good year or two now," local man Nelson Greenley, 33, was struck by the sudden impulse to go outside and play some basketball Saturday. "I don't know if it's the the tournament getting started or just the nicer weather, but I could definitely get out there and shoot the rock a little bit," said Greenley, adding that he checked the local community center's website to see what the open-gym hours were just in case he also wanted to play at night. "I bet you Jeff [Sanburn] and Craig [Kearns] would be down to play. We could probably scrounge up a fourth to get some two-on-two going." At press time, Greenley was driving to a Dick's Sporting Goods to purchase an air pump and had placed a call to his mother to see if she still had his old basketball shoes from college, although reports confirmed he'll wind up shooting 32 jump shots alone before getting bored and going inside.

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