Area Man Has No Idea How To Get Copy Of Birth Certificate

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Vol 45 Issue 33

Mom Has Some Wild New Ideas For Dressing Son This Year

TIGARD, OR—"Well, you know how boys are," said Karen Dougherty, as she carefully hemmed the cuffs on a pair of baby-blue corduroys. "If Michael had his way, he'd probably run out the door every day in a T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.
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Area Man Has No Idea How To Get Copy Of Birth Certificate

AKRON, OH—Michael Stills, 25, told reporters Friday he had absolutely no idea how to obtain a copy of his birth certificate, a document that a potential employer has required him to provide before interviewing for a job. "I tried to get it online, but you can't," said Stills, who added that his mother refused to mail him her copy for fear it might get lost. "I called Akron General, but I didn't know which department to ask for, and I'm not actually sure that's the right hospital. Maybe the courthouse would have it?" As of press time, Stills said he had made no progress tracking down the document but had inadvertently applied for a commercial trucker's license while searching for information on the DMV website.

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