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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Man Has No Idea What He Went Downstairs For

METUCHEN, NJ—Thirty seconds after descending the stairs, Ken Bley, 41, announced he had no clue what he went downstairs for. "I don't think it was to get something," Bley said. "I think it might have been to check on something." Bley said that if he cannot recall his purpose in the next minute, he will return to the bedroom and try to reconstruct the train of thought that led to the mysterious task. "I'm thinking it had something to do with the kitchen," Bley said. "I have this picture of the pantry junk-drawer in my mind."

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