CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—With her initially stated desire for restored wide-plank floors and a walk-in pantry having already been broadened to any hardwood or laminate flooring and decent kitchen storage space, sources confirmed Friday that aspiring homeowner Chelsea Lange has supplied a progressively vaguer description of her dream home with each new place she reviews in her price range.
ST. CLOUD, MN—Rotary Club banquet attendee Phil Tipton, 46, told reporters Monday that he was "humbled" to have his name included in the Minnesota Twins baseball cap used for the event's door-prize drawing. "Just having a slip of paper with my name on it alongside [club president] Bill Sharpling and [treasurer] Gil Orman is more than enough of a prize for me," said Tipton, who expressed a similar sentiment after bidding in the same silent auction as St. Cloud transportation commissioner Hal Lerner during a 2005 muscular dystrophy fundraiser. "In a way, I already feel like I've won that car-detailing gift certificate." Upon losing the drawing, Tipton reportedly called the entire organization "bullshit" and tore a large 4-H banner off of the wall before storming out of the VFW hall.