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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Area Man Just Realized He Doesn't Even Know When Barack Obama's Birthday Is

ATHENS, GA—Local barista Benjamin Shields, 31, expressed both shock and remorse Monday when, during a routine perusal of his 2009 calendar, it suddenly occurred to him that he had never bothered to find out the date of President Barack Obama's birth. "Mostly, I'm just really embarrassed," Shields said. "The first black president in U.S. history, a person I myself voted for, and I don't even know what month he was born? God, I'd be mortified if he ever found out." Shields said he would console himself by making sure to purchase a card well in advance of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack's Dec. 12 birthday.

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