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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Man Meets That Special Someone Else

DENVER—Husband and father of three Hank Glass, 37, told reporters Monday that his life finally has a purpose now that he has met that special someone else, 42-year-old waitress Debra Nelson.

"There was a point where I thought I'd never fill this empty void, and that I'd be all alone with my wife and children forever," said Glass, who claimed that he and Nelson first crossed paths at the most unlikely time: during his son's birthday dinner. "I knew right then and there that she was the other woman for me."

Glass admitted that he was so in love, he couldn't wait to tell almost the whole world.

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