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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Man Never Leaves House Without Putting On Lucky Everything

BOISE, ID—Area resident Tom Watson, 32, told coworkers yesterday that he never leaves his house without putting on his lucky hat, jacket, scarf, shirt, pants, underwear, shoes, sock, and other sock. "Yes, people might call me superstitious, but I know when I see the sun every morning that I have these to thank," said Watson, pointing to his lucky belt and galoshes. "And no one can deny the fact that I was in this outfit when my brother-in-law bought that winning $10 scratch ticket." Watson added that he has paid especially close attention to his fortunes since being diagnosed in 1993 with a "one-in-a-million" form of eye cancer.

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