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Area Man Pretty Sure He Knows Which Athletes Are Gay

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Area Man Pretty Sure He Knows Which Athletes Are Gay

TOLEDO, OH—Area man Arnold Pera, 26, bragged to several of his friends Sunday that "nine times out of 10" he can tell whether an athlete is gay or not. "Sometimes it's the way they talk or interact with their teammates, but a lot of times I can tell just by watching them play," said Pera, directing his friends' attention to a TV screen at the bar in order to point out a pitcher's windup that he described as "a telltale sign of a total homo." "No athletes really ever come out and say they're gay, but they might as well, because it's totally obvious. I could easily tell you 20 or 30 gay basketball players right off the top of my head." While Pera claims to have mastered the ability of deciphering athletes' sexual orientations simply by watching them, the married father of two has reportedly not yet picked up on the one overwhelming piece of evidence that he, himself, is homosexual.

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