Area Man Proud Of Blood Type

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

‘We’re Just Mad And Want To Destroy Something,’ Say Candidate’s Backers

WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
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Area Man Proud Of Blood Type

RADCLIFFE, IA—Despite its being the uncontrollable product of genetics and chance, Phil Schroeder's blood type is a frequent source of pride for the 26-year-old graphic designer. "I'm B-negative," said Schroeder, expecting to get a big reaction from coworker Mindy Tremont. "That's the second most rare after AB-negative." Schroeder, who has been known to high-five fellow B-negatives, went on to tell Tremont that individuals with Type B are said to be creative and excitable, prompting her to murmur, "Wow."