Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Area Man Released After Being Wrongfully Employed For 9 Years

RICHMOND, VA—In response to mounting evidence showing that he never should have been in there in the first place, administrators at KDM Marketing officially released 34-year-old account manager Alex Olmstead today after nine years of being wrongfully employed. “After nearly a decade inside KDM’s sales division with absolutely no justifiable cause, Alex has finally been let go,” said coworker Jason Woodworth, adding that a vocal and passionate contingent of people familiar with Olmstead’s situation have been advocating for his release on grounds that he had never done anything to warrant his continuous employment at the marketing firm since early 2006. “Honestly, it’s been a long time coming—he didn’t deserve to be there for a day, let alone nine years. The fact that he was in that position to begin with is a terrible indictment of the entire hiring system that somehow allowed this to happen. But he’s out now, and hopefully he can just move on with his life at this point.” Reached for comment, Olmstead told reporters he plans to spend time with his wife and two children, but expressed concern that he might never be able to find stable work in the future given his record.

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