Area Man Shocked To See His Elementary School Has A Website

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Vol 46 Issue 52

Paper Proposes One-Way Trips To Mars

An article in the Journal Of Cosmology suggests that in order to make a manned flight to Mars an affordable reality in the near future, plans should not include a return trip.
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Area Man Shocked To See His Elementary School Has A Website

LAREDO, TX—After using an Internet search engine in an attempt to find information on a former classmate, local resident Matthew Orman, 25, told reporters Monday that he was "extremely surprised" upon discovering that the elementary school he attended had its own website. "All of the teachers have their own profiles and everything," Orman said while scrolling through the GIF-littered basic HTML design, credited to his former third-grade art teacher Mrs. Wolford. "And look, the cafeteria still serves pizza on Fridays. This is so crazy." Orman reportedly attempted to sign the website's guestbook several times, but was unable do to so because of an internal programming error.

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