Area Man Up For Anything Except Being The One Who Makes The Decision

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Area Man Up For Anything Except Being The One Who Makes The Decision

LOS ANGELES—Assuring his buddies during their first round of drinks that this would be “a night for the history books,” local man Jeff Kirkwood boldly declared that he was up for absolutely anything except making a definite decision, bar sources reported Friday. “Guys, tonight’s going to be epic, and I’m totally game for anything that doesn’t require me personally to propose and commit fully to an idea of how to spend the remainder of our night,” Kirkwood said, finishing off his first beer and ordering another while affirming that he was “just getting started.” “Skinny-dipping? Midnight trip to Vegas? Hell, if you wanted to go bungee jumping right now, I’d be with you all the way given the fact that everyone else already reached that consensus and were sufficiently enthusiastic that I wouldn’t make the final call. So, let’s see where the night takes us!” At press time, Kirkwood was raising his glass to toast the spontaneity of the evening and offering to buy another round for the table if everyone else thought that was a good idea and would definitely partake.