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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Area Man Up For Anything Except Being The One Who Makes The Decision

LOS ANGELES—Assuring his buddies during their first round of drinks that this would be “a night for the history books,” local man Jeff Kirkwood boldly declared that he was up for absolutely anything except making a definite decision, bar sources reported Friday. “Guys, tonight’s going to be epic, and I’m totally game for anything that doesn’t require me personally to propose and commit fully to an idea of how to spend the remainder of our night,” Kirkwood said, finishing off his first beer and ordering another while affirming that he was “just getting started.” “Skinny-dipping? Midnight trip to Vegas? Hell, if you wanted to go bungee jumping right now, I’d be with you all the way given the fact that everyone else already reached that consensus and were sufficiently enthusiastic that I wouldn’t make the final call. So, let’s see where the night takes us!” At press time, Kirkwood was raising his glass to toast the spontaneity of the evening and offering to buy another round for the table if everyone else thought that was a good idea and would definitely partake.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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