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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Area Man Wants Something Made Of Titanium

PENDLETON, OR–Anthony Schilling is hoping to acquire something made of titanium, the 43-year-old claims adjuster reported Monday. "I can't afford a new titanium bike, but maybe I could get a pen or a watch," Schilling said of his lust for the low-density, corrosion-resistant alloy. "Or maybe I could get a pair of super-strong titanium binoculars. Whatever I wind up getting, though, it'll be really lightweight and last forever."

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