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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Mom Disappointed No One Noticed Mastectomy

LOUISVILLE, KY—Local resident Joanne Cobb, 43, was disappointed Monday when family members failed to comment on her new mastectomy, which she received during a noon appointment while her husband was at work and her three children were at school. "I mean, I look completely different," said Cobb, who had nearly five inches trimmed from her right breast. "I didn't expect them to make a huge fuss, but a little recognition would've been nice." Cobb added that, if this is the kind of reaction she can expect, she might as well cancel her cervical exam next Thursday.

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