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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Mom Issues Stern Warning On Road Where She Once Got A Ticket

OSHKOSH, WI—Insisting she recently received a ticket on Jackson Street, Brenda McCormick, 57, issued a stern warning to her son Justin Monday, urging the 25-year-old to slow down the car, backseat sources reported. "Watch out, there's always a police car waiting at the corner where the speed limit switches from 55 to 35," said McCormick, adding that the area was definitely a speed trap. "They have quotas, you know." McCormick also cautioned her son to drive defensively near New York Avenue, as drivers were always pulling out right in front of people and there was that bad accident there when he was little.

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