adBlockCheck

Area Mother Doesn’t See Why Thai People Need To Make Food So Spicy

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Area Mother Doesn’t See Why Thai People Need To Make Food So Spicy

BLOOMINGTON, IN—Insisting that inhabitants of the Southeast Asian country “can’t possibly eat like this every day,” local mother Courtney Meisner confirmed Tuesday that she does not understand why Thai people need all their food to be so spicy. “Why do they have to make it so strong and peppery? There’s too many spices,” a flushed Meisner said during lunch at the Lemongrass Thai Grill, reaching for her glass of water to wash down a spoonful of tom yum goong. “Honestly, how can they stand this? There’s no way their children eat this spicy food, I’ll tell you that much.” Unable to finish more than a few bites of her penang curry entrée, Meisner went on to state that Thai people really ought to put all the spices on the side “so you can just put in however much you want.”

After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close