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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Area Supervisor Hates To Break Up Little Party

ARLINGTON, TX–With profound regret, departmental supervisor Peter Dunckel forced an informal gathering to disband at Arlington Printing & Design Monday. "I really do hate to break up this little party you've got going here," Dunckel said, "but break's been over for seven minutes. So if you could please get back to your respective workspaces, I'd really appreciate it." It was the seventh such party Dunckel has hated to break up in the past four weeks.

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