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Web Series Reaches 100 Views

A comedic webisode about two roommates became a viral sensation this week after reaching the unprecedented 100 view milestone.

Overeager Simpleton Destroys That Which He Loves Most

WICHITA, KS—Agonizingly unaware of his own strength and the devastation it might inflict on the innocent, overeager simpleton Rob McCormick tore apart a bag of potato chips Thursday, despite the fact that it was reportedly what he loved most in all the world.

Raccoon Family Tired Of Taking Care Of Rabid Father

MONTGOMERY, WV—Acknowledging that he has become a real burden on their foraging and nesting activities, a local raccoon family told reporters Tuesday that they are starting to get tired of taking care of their rabid father.
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Area Teen's Sister Looking Pretty Good To Friend Of Area Teen

SAN MATEO, CA–San Mateo 17-year-old Evan Campos announced Monday that Jessica Roth, 14, the previously unnoticed sister of best friend Andrew Roth, had "really grown a lot" since he last saw her and was now "looking pretty good."

San Mateo 17-year-old Evan Campos, who recently announced that his best friend's sister, Jessica Roth (inset), is "looking pretty good."

"I used to see Jessica a lot when I went over to Andrew's house, and I was always like, whatever," Campos said. "But I hadn't seen her in awhile, since she was at music camp all summer, and she's really, you know, grown up a lot. I'd have to say she's definitely looking good."

"Oh, man," Campos added, "I used to see her running around without a shirt when she was like seven. That is so freaky."

Andrew Roth, who has been best friends with Campos since the two were in second grade, was "seriously weirded out" by the announcement.

"Evan came by Sunday night to play some Tekken, and my sister was in her room in her pajamas, doing homework or something. Her door was open, and he was, like, totally checking her out," Roth said. "Then, like an hour later, when I went to take a piss break, he went over and tried to start up a conversation with her, asking her what she was studying and shit. I was like, 'Dude, what the fuck's up with you? That's my sister!'"

Roth, who has declared his sister strictly off-limits to Campos, said he would not hesitate to beat the shit out of his best friend if he tried anything. Campos has assured Roth that he has no intentions of making a play for his sister, telling him, "Dude, relax."

When asked for comment, Jessica Roth ran into her room giggling.

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