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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Woman Fulfills Dream Of Becoming Writer By Getting Job At Bookstore

PHILADELPHIA—Aspiring novelist Sandy Bellman took the last step in her personal journey as a professional writer last week when she was hired at a west-side Barnes & Noble. "This has been a big year for me creatively, and getting this was the biggest step yet," said Bellman whose hiring, according to sources close to the 27-year-old, will almost certainly be her greatest literary achievement. "After all this time, I'm finally part of the world of books." Bellman is expected to sell her first novel, most likely Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner or James Patterson's Judge And Jury, shortly after beginning her training shift next Monday.

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