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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Area Woman Not About To Miss Ally McBeal For That

ROCHESTER, NY—At approximately 10 p.m. Thursday, 41-year-old Rochester resident Connie Smoller informed her husband Patrick that she isn't about to miss Ally McBeal for that. "For God's sake, this is the classic 'Those Lips, That Hand' episode from last April," Smoller said. "That's the one where John tells Ally that Nelle thinks he's in love with Ally, and then he kisses her. And Nelle gets Barry White to sing at the bar for John's birthday, and then John goes up and dances on the stage and everyone joins him. And if that weren't enough, it's got that whole hilarious thing with Billy and Georgia trying the case where the guy gets fired from his job because of his bad comb-over, and the thing with Richard wanting to break up with Ling because she doesn't want to have sex with him. There's no way I'm missing all of that just to go to your silly 25th high-school reunion."

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