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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Area Woman Not Yelling At You, She's Just Saying

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Area resident Roberta Pearle clarified Monday that, while it may look like she is yelling at you, she is actually just saying. "I'm not yelling at you," Pearle explained. "I'm just saying. You know, so you'll know." Pearle then loudly reiterated that she is not yelling. "I'm not," she said.

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