Area Woman Said ‘Sorry’ 118 Times Yesterday

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Vol 50 Issue 04

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In an effort to better accommodate those with gluten intolerance, a number of Girl Scout troops around the country will sell a gluten-free version of their chocolate chip shortbread cookie.

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NEW YORK—Overcoming frigid temperatures and biting winds, a team of husky puppies overpowered and trounced the opposition Sunday during Puppy Bowl X, the first ever cold-weather Puppy Bowl. As temperatures dropped into the low twenties, puppies atte...

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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Area Woman Said ‘Sorry’ 118 Times Yesterday

ROCHESTER, MN—Having repeatedly apologized for incidents such as accidentally brushing up against other people on the train, stepping aside in an elevator, and reaching for the same coffee mug as a colleague at work, local 24-year-old Katie Simpson was overheard saying “sorry” nearly 120 different times yesterday, sources reported. “Sorry,” Simpson said softly under her breath Wednesday morning while walking past a coworker in the hallway, an occurrence that would be repeated 17 more times throughout the course of the day. “Sorry, sorry.” Sources also confirmed Simpson said “sorry” yesterday on at least two occasions while bumping into an inanimate object.

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