Area Woman Thinks She Could Live In City She's Visiting

In This Section

Vol 46 Issue 33

NFL Punters Lobby Congress For More Fakes

WASHINGTON—High-ranking NFL punters met with members of Congress Tuesday to lobby for legislation that would significantly increase the number of fake punts across the league.

U.S. Call Centers Cost Same As India

According to the head of the largest call center outsourcing firm in the country, the poor job market has made the cost of hiring a call center worker in the United States the same as hiring one in India.

Mysterious Crate Arrives From London

DOCKSIDE, NEW ENGLAND—Shipman and stevedore alike confirmed that the crate is unpleasantly cold to the touch, and none reportedly wished to remain in its presence for long.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Business

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Area Woman Thinks She Could Live In City She's Visiting

SAN FRANCISCO—After a few close friends personally escorted her around San Francisco's nicest parks, restaurants, and shopping centers, Virginia-native and first-time visitor Lori Timlin reported Sunday that she could envision herself living in the one of the nation's most expensive cities. "I can really see myself in one of those great big houses up on that hill, or maybe in an apartment overlooking the water," said the 28-year-old paralegal, whose friends had strategically steered her away from the city's aggressive homeless population and infuriating public transportation system. "How could you not want to live in a sparklingly clean city with such a perfect warm and sunny climate all year round?" During a four-hour layover at O'Hare Intern≠ational Airport on her trip back home, Timlin concluded she could never, ever live in Chicago.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More