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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Area Woman To Celebrate Quiet Women's History Month At Home This Year

SAN FRANCISCO—Juliette Solomon said that despite the pressure to "make a big production" out of Women's History Month, she will likely spend March alone this year. "Every year, it's the same thing: the Julia Howe and Lucretia Mott biographies, the art exhibits and photographs of Mother Jones," Solomon said. "This March, I'm just going to stay in, brew some tea, and catch up on my aromatherapy." Solomon added that she could "barely remember" Women's Day Eve 2005, save for a few fuzzy recollections of "some Susan B. Anthony documentary."
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