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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Area Woman To Celebrate Quiet Women's History Month At Home This Year

SAN FRANCISCO—Juliette Solomon said that despite the pressure to "make a big production" out of Women's History Month, she will likely spend March alone this year. "Every year, it's the same thing: the Julia Howe and Lucretia Mott biographies, the art exhibits and photographs of Mother Jones," Solomon said. "This March, I'm just going to stay in, brew some tea, and catch up on my aromatherapy." Solomon added that she could "barely remember" Women's Day Eve 2005, save for a few fuzzy recollections of "some Susan B. Anthony documentary."
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