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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Area Woman Wants To Be Singer Or Actor Or Whatever

AKRON, OH—Ever since she was a little girl, Candice Huza, 22, has dreamed of someday becoming a popular singer, or actress, or some kind of famous celebrity or whatever. "Getting to sing, or maybe model, or receive some kind of huge acting award for whatever has always been a passion of mine," said Huza, leafing through an issue of Us Weekly. "I guess I was just born be one of those people you see on television, or in the theaters, or on some huge billboard somewhere. Or a magazine. It's my calling." According to sources close to her, Huza is in fact destined to become a Wal-Mart cashier, or maybe an office receptionist, or a bitter and unhappy housewife of some kind.

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