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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Area Woman's Baseless Hatred Of Anne Hathaway Reciprocated

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Actress Anne Hathaway admitted to reporters Thursday that she feels the same baseless hatred for a Massachusetts woman that the woman feels toward her. "You can tell Cathy Lerro's totally in love with herself, even though she's really just fucking annoying," Hathaway said in reference to the 36-year-old Sudbury resident, who the Devil Wears Prada star grudgingly acknowledged was decent that one time as an office manager but hasn't done anything nearly that good since. "Ugh. Just hearing her name makes me kind of ill. And that voice." When questioned further by reporters, Hathaway vehemently denied her hatred for Lerro was motivated by jealousy.

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