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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Arena Security Prevents Erik Spoelstra From Celebrating With Miami Heat

MIAMI—Following the Miami Heat’s decisive Game 7 victory over the Indiana Pacers in the Eastern Conference championship series Monday night, security personnel at American Airlines Arena reportedly rushed to the floor to prevent Erik Spoelstra from joining the Heat in celebrating their win. “Sir, sir! You can’t go onto the court; celebration’s for members of the Heat organization only. No fans allowed,” head of security Michael Welsh was reportedly overheard telling Spoelstra before he was forced to physically restrain him. “Sir, I do not know who you are, but this is the Heat’s big moment. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave or I’m gonna make you leave. Either one.” Sources later confirmed that as Spoelstra was being escorted from the arena by security, he yelled, “LeBron! LeBron, over here!” at which point LeBron James looked over, saw his coach, and resumed celebrating with his teammates.

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