Arizona Proposes Stricter Sex-Offender Rules

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Vol 47 Issue 03

"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their los...

In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather. Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the netwo...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Arizona Proposes Stricter Sex-Offender Rules

With California's recent announcement that registered sex offenders will be required to wear lightly tinted sunglasses and denim cutoff shorts, many states are following suit with even stricter dress codes. Below, a regimen recently proposed in the Arizona state legislature:

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