A recent speech by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton criticizing the “alt-right” movement and its support of Republican nominee Donald Trump has shone the national spotlight on the ideologically conservative group. Here’s what you need to know about the alt-right
PENSACOLA, FL—Addressing recent allegations that she is physically unfit to serve in the Oval Office, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, 68, debunked rumors about her health Monday by telling the audience at a campaign rally the exact day she will die.
WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Arguing that it was time to deal decisively with the threat of terrorism, local aunt Deborah Massey casually advocated a war crime Monday in a brief Facebook post, sources confirmed. “Any city that has ISIS people hiding out in it needs to be bombed to the ground.
COLUMBUS, OH—Clad in a tattered suit as he limped through the Hyatt ballroom toward the stunned Democratic presidential nominee, a dirty, bearded Vince Foster reportedly burst through the doors of a Clinton campaign fundraiser Monday to confront his former law partner.
SECAUCUS, NJ—Wondering aloud how the father of three even managed to find the online image-hosting service, family members of local dad Phil Yates told reporters Monday the 57-year-old had shared a photo album with them through a never-before-seen website.
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Excitedly watching the exhibition game in the half-empty stadium, local 13-year-old Josh McNeil reportedly had an overall pretty decent birthday party Saturday night at a Week 3 preseason NFL game between the New York Giants and the New York Jets.
With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements
SYRACUSE, NY—Sending a surge of long-dormant, unwanted memories coursing through 27-year-old Chris Bellinger’s mind as he searched his laptop for an unrelated document Friday, the sudden resurfacing of a file called “Lyrics.doc” reportedly brought forth a chilling reminder of a life the local man thought he left behind years ago.
WASHINGTON—Calling the image an important addition to their collection, officials from the Smithsonian National Museum of American History announced Friday they have acquired a rare photograph where the whole Barlow family looks very nice.
SOUTH WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Expressing sorrow at the mere thought of what she has to endure, Americans across the nation confirmed Thursday that they feel absolutely terrible for the wife of a Little League World Series coach.
WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.
SACRAMENTO, CA—In an effort to address a hostile work environment, executives at Western Sun Media Consulting reportedly distributed a staff-wide memo Thursday encouraging any women at the company who had experienced sexual harassment to come forward with a resignation letter.
WASHINGTON—Highlighting the gaping security holes that continue to persist 15 years after the attacks, an encouraging report released Thursday by radical extremist think tank the Caliphate Institute determined that the United States is no safer than it was before 9/11.
MILFORD, CT—As part of the standardized instruction each employee receives before heading out to work in franchises worldwide, a new class of Subway trainees were reportedly assigned their own sandwich cadavers this week to help them learn how to locate and identify the meals’ various internal structures.
Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination
NORMAN, OK—Watching the 11-year-old play shortstop for his Little League team, local father Mark Garrett reported Wednesday that he thinks his son, Nathan, has what it takes to become an embittered alcoholic journeyman in the minor leagues.
‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters
WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.
Take some time off work and spend your last days free from the bonds of the oppressive and culturally devoid institution that was just about the only thing giving you a purpose to your otherwise insignificant days.
Spend your final waking minutes before the end of the world with your family, knowing fully well you’d rather be doing a number of other gratifying yet completely depraved things, right sicko?
Make sure your linens are clean prior to the upcoming catastrophe, while always reminding yourself that these are likely the very same sheets on which you will likely soon be slowly asphyxiating.
Spend your final waking minutes before the end of the world with your family, knowing full well that any of the innumerable fulfilling things you could be doing will just never match up to this.
All the animals are going to be killed too, so you might as well go to the zoo and find out what Panda steak tastes like.
Tell that special person how much you've always hated them
You never know if hostile alien generals like high-fives unless you go for it.
Put Road Warrior in your Netflix queue for cool, post-apocalyptic hairstyle ideas.