Article About One World Trade Center Building Includes Paragraph Explaining 9/11

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Vol 49 Issue 18

Tuesday, May 14

Author and ecologist Michael Strandley will be at the Cameron Library on Tuesday discussing his lifelong work with bears and why he thinks they’re overrated.

No One In Limo Going To Prom With The One They Wanted

INDEPENDENCE, MO—None of the six students in the white stretch limousine presently en route to Harry Truman High School’s senior prom are attending the event with the person they wanted to be their date, sources reported this evening.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Article About One World Trade Center Building Includes Paragraph Explaining 9/11

NEW YORK—A news article published Tuesday about how One World Trade Center will soon become the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere contained a paragraph explaining the events of Sept. 11, sources confirmed. “The new high-rise comes as the result of the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, which destroyed both World Trade Center buildings,” read the paragraph, which came towards the end of the article and proceeded to explain that the militant Islamist organization al-Qaeda, led by global terrorist Osama bin Laden, was responsible for the destruction. “During the attack, roughly 3,000 Americans were killed when two hijacked airliners were flown into the towers, ultimately causing them to collapse. One World Trade Center will occupy the same location where the original World Trade Center stood.” Upon reading the piece, millions of readers were reportedly thankful for the paragraph, saying they were unaware as to why a new building was being built in lower Manhattan, and were “relieved” to learn that Osama bin Laden was killed nearly two years ago during a raid of his compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.

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