adBlockCheck

As Per Midnight Madness Tradition, Duke Freshman Sacrificed Center Court

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

As Per Midnight Madness Tradition, Duke Freshman Sacrificed Center Court

DURHAM, NC—Freshman Nate Washburn, 17, was mutilated in front of 12,000 students, players, and coaches at Duke University's Cameron Indoor Stadium Friday during the school's traditional "Midnight Madness Sacrifice A Freshman Ceremony." Prior to their first official practice, six hooded members of the Duke basketball team, lightly chanting the school's fight song, led a blindfolded Washburn to center court, where he was greeted by head coach Mike Krzyzewski. "We offer up Nathan L. Washburn to the One Most High so that we may show our deepest commitment to besting our rivals in this, the 2009-2010 college basketball season," Krzyzewski, adorned in a blue satin cloak and wearing a carved wooden goat mask representing Baal, said before raising a dagger above his head and plunging it into Washburn's chest. "We remove his left arm to signify the ACC title. The right arm for the No. 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament. The head, the national championship. And we pass the still-beating heart amongst the starting five so they can devour it as one. Eruditio et Religio!" Following the ritualistic killing, Duke players ran layup drills.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close