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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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A's Pitchers Meet Up At Cool Pitcher Hangout Called 'The Strike Zone' After Game

OAKLAND—Following their victory against the Texas Rangers last night, Oakland A's starting pitchers Greg Smith, Dana Eveland, and Justin Duchscherer made their way over to their favorite post-game hangout, The Strike Zone, where they sat in their usual booth and were greeted by the restaurant's owner/ventriloquist, a colorful character known to them only as Mack. "Just the usual Zone Burger for me, Mack," said Eveland just as the pitchers' popular cheerleading girlfriends Kristen, Jenny, and Liza arrived and took seats next to their respective boyfriends. "You know, I think we all learned something valuable from last night's game. Sure, wins are important, but there's nothing more important than being honest, staying off drugs, and hanging with your friends. Oh, and not throwing parties in the stadium when [A's owner] Mr. Wolf is out of town. Let's never make that mistake again!" The good times were interrupted when rival pitchers from the Los Angeles Angels stormed in, taunted the A's girlfriends, and loudly proclaimed that a victory in next week's big game was all but certain—unless the A's had some wacky scheme up their sleeves.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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