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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Atonal Composers Gather For Atony Awards

HOLLYWOOD, CA— The recording industry's top atonal composers gathered in Los Angeles Monday for the gala seventh annual Atony Awards. "Tonight is hostile music's biggest night," said Krzysztof Penderecki, nominee in the Most Dissonant Piece category. "I can't tell you what a thrill it is to be here, surrounded by so many legends of arrhythmic cacophony." The highlight of the evening is expected to be the awarding of the Olivier Messiaen Lifetime Achievement Award to Karlheinz Stockhausen for "more than five decades of aggressively impenetrable anti-music."

 

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