adBlockCheck

Attorney Friends Catch Up While Briskly Walking Down Courthouse Steps

Top Headlines

Local

Man Entirely Different Misogynist Online Than In Real Life

CHATTANOOGA, TN—Explaining how his subtle belittlement and disrespect for women in face-to-face interactions had little in common with the bold, outspoken manner in which he degrades women when he’s on social media or website message boards, sources reported Tuesday that local man Colin McManus is a totally different misogynist online than in real life.

Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Describing them as “the best pretzels out there” and “the only ones [he] buy[s],” local resident Ned Carlisle expressed his firm loyalty to Snyder’s of Hanover–brand pretzels Tuesday.

Seagull This Far Inland Must Be Total Fuckup

KNOXVILLE, TN—Questioning how the bird could have possibly ended up more than 300 miles from the nearest ocean, sources confirmed Friday that a seagull that was spotted this far inland must be a total fuckup.

Only News Source Man Trusts Has Logo Of Eyeball In Crosshairs

FULLERTON, CA—Noting that he relies upon the website every day to keep himself apprised of important national and global events, sources confirmed Thursday that the only news outlet local man Andrew Howland trusts uses an image of an eyeball in crosshairs as its logo.

Man Approaches Unfamiliar Shower Knobs Like He Breaking Wild Stallion

TERRE HAUTE, IN—Approaching the strange bathing controls with caution before gingerly laying both hands upon them, 37-year-old Matthew Dolan took on a pair of unfamiliar shower knobs while visiting an old college friend’s home Thursday like he was breaking an untamed stallion of the wild West, sources reported.

Wedding Photographer Keeps Calling Bride’s Parents ‘Mom’ And ‘Dad’

CHARLOTTE, NC—Despite having just met the middle-aged couple earlier that afternoon, local wedding photographer Bob Dennison kept referring to the bride’s parents as “Mom” and “Dad” throughout the Lambert-Carrillo wedding Saturday, sources reported. “All right, I need Mom and Dad standing right here in front of the rosebush.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Attorney Friends Catch Up While Briskly Walking Down Courthouse Steps

The attorney friends talk about their respective busy case loads as well as recent vacations.
The attorney friends talk about their respective busy case loads as well as recent vacations.

NEW YORK—Sources confirmed Tuesday that local attorney friends Sam Taub and Peter Glickman unexpectedly met near the main entrance of New York County Courthouse and caught up on family, health, and their careers while quickly descending the building’s 16 front steps.

The brief 25-second discussion reportedly began at approximately 3:45 p.m. when the two colleagues firmly shook hands and expressed some measure of surprise and delight upon seeing one another. Onlookers said that just as they began their brisk walk down the granite steps, Taub, 41, patted Glickman, 40, on the back.

“Sammy! How are ya, counselor?” Glickman was overheard saying to his colleague, who doesn’t work at the same law firm as Glickman, but has enjoyed consulting with him on cases in the past and has met up with him on multiple occasions at O’Malleys, a popular after-work lawyer hangout. “You just get out of court?”

“How’s Amanda?” Glickman added.

According to witnesses, the lawyer pals spent several seconds explaining the type of case each was working on, inquiring as to whether or not either had recently spoken to another mutual lawyer friend named Mark, and remarking on how the legal profession was “getting crazier every day.”

When they reached the middle courthouse step, Taub reportedly mentioned the name of the judge assigned to his case—Judge Paul Warman—which prompted Glickman to make a sarcastic remark and Taub to simultaneously laugh, roll his eyes, sigh, and shake his head.

Sources later confirmed that while they were descending the stairs, Taub’s suit jacket was draped over his briefcase-carrying arm, while Glickman was wearing his.

“You back in court later, or are you done for the day?” Taub reportedly asked, and then went on to mention how busy he was, to which Glickman responded, “Busy is good.” “I’ve gotta file this brief before six.”

According to courthouse officials, this isn’t the first time the two attorney friends have gotten up to speed and shared a few laughs while quickly walking down the courthouse steps. On Nov. 8, 2012, Taub similarly greeted Glickman and the two discussed business and how nuts their houses were going to get over Thanksgiving. During another brief discussion on Sept. 2, 2011, Glickman reportedly paused on the sixth step when Taub mentioned that his then 6-year-old daughter Sara was experiencing some health problems.

“They seemed like they were happy to see each other, but also very busy, like they had somewhere to be,” attorney and bystander Erin Lovell told reporters. “I didn’t hear all of their conversation because it was quick and they were walking pretty fast. But I know one told the other that he was ‘getting killed in jury selection.’”

Attorney Sam Taub graduated from the University of Maryland in 1993, received his J.D. from George Washington University Law School in 1998, and is currently a partner at Graham, Baker & Walsh. Peter Glickman graduated from Cornell, where he also attended law school. He worked at Benson & Hirsch for the past five years before recently changing firms to Coleman & Locke—a move that Glickman said Tuesday was an adjustment because “you know how Bernie Locke can be.”

Onlookers said that as the two reached the bottom of the steps, Glickman told his friend that he was late for a meeting back at the office. Both attorneys agreed, however, to get dinner soon and “play a round” at the upstate New York country club where Taub’s boss Perry Baker is a member.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close