Attractive Woman, Wealthy Man Somehow Making It Work

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Vol 46 Issue 27

Obese Engage In Unsafe Sex More

A French study revealed that obese people have sex less often than those of healthier weight, but engage in riskier behavior when they do.

Men Suffer Postpartum Depression Too

A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that 10 percent of new fathers can suffer a serious depression in the first year of a child's birth.

I Have Seen The Future

The insufferable downy-cheeked technocrats in my employ at the Onion News Net-Work have informed me that, due to some folderol about worm-holes aboard fantastical ships that ply the very oceans of the sky, my news organization can now see the future!
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Attractive Woman, Wealthy Man Somehow Making It Work

GREENWICH, CT—Despite their disparate backgrounds, lack of mutual interests, and seemingly insurmountable gap in age, former Miss Kentucky finalist Amber Williams, 26, and multimillionaire real estate mogul Chester R. Williams II, 61, told reporters Monday that they somehow continue to make their marriage work. "The moment I saw her, I knew I wanted to marry her," said Chester Williams, adding that the couple's relationship has inexplicably persevered despite the fact that they usually only see each other one or two nights a week. "Amber said she had always been waiting for somebody like me to come along and sweep her off her feet. I suppose she was exactly what I was looking for, too." Sources close to the pair confirmed that it is almost as if the two were "made for each other."

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