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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Audience At Press Conference Relieved To Hear Steps Will Be Taken

WASHINGTON—Calling a press conference Wednesday to address a matter of grave seriousness, a major public organization reportedly reassured those in attendance that steps will be taken and that every effort will be made to rectify the problem if one is found to exist. “It’s a relief to know they’re not taking the situation lightly and remain committed to looking into the matter at every level,” said press conference attendee Madeleine O’Hara, who admitted her confidence had been shaken when news of the potentially devastating allegations first broke. “They also said continuing efforts were in place to hold accountable any responsible parties, so obviously that’s great to hear, as is their promise to leave no stone unturned. I’m just happy all proper measures are being implemented, you know?” Several members of the press nodded in agreement, saying the only thing left to do now is tell the American people the good news.

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