Audio Guide Clearly Hates Degas

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Audio Guide Clearly Hates Degas

LOS ANGELES—According to museumgoers at Los Angeles' Getty Center, an automated audio guide for the 19th-century Impressionism art gallery obviously despises French painter Edgar Degas. "The narrator wouldn't stop gushing about Monet's work with water or Pissarro's 'Landscape In The Vicinity Of Louveciennes,' but when we got to Degas, she called him a 'master of the female form, if you like staring at a bunch of ballerinas and women sitting in bathtubs,'" said Natalie LaTouche, 32. "And even though she did say that Degas was brilliant at depicting the subtlety of human bodies in motion, she said it really sarcastically." Others added that when they got to Degas' self-portrait, the audio guide made no mention of the visible brushstrokes or the use of dark and light, instead saying only, "Interesting fact, he really was that ugly."

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