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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Audubon Society Reveal They’ve Only Seen, Like, 3 Birds

NEW YORK—During a press conference Wednesday announcing a series of new fundraising initiatives, officials at the National Audubon Society admitted they’ve only seen, like, three birds during the organization’s 111-year history. “We’ve seen quite a few pictures of birds, but almost never the real thing,” said CEO and president David Yarnold, who later revealed that naturalist John James Audubon himself never saw a bird during his lifetime and based his sketches on secondhand accounts from others. “I think someone here saw a couple of those little brown ones a few years ago, and my assistant maybe saw a pigeon one time—am I pronouncing that right? ‘Pigeon’? Anyway, we’ve seen a number of butterflies, and I looked at a parakeet in a store once, but we don’t count that one.” Yarnold concluded the press conference by asking anyone with any information regarding birds to please call the Audubon Society, particularly if they can confirm whether ostriches are real.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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