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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Avoiding Popular Songs Somehow Accomplishment For Local Man

OAKLAND, CA—Speaking with evident pride as he mentioned how he doesn’t listen to the radio, local man Dan Mills appeared to be under the impression that his avoidance of mainstream music was somehow a noteworthy accomplishment, sources confirmed Tuesday. “‘Chandelier’? I’ve never heard of it,” said Mills, brimming with satisfaction over his success at evading a song that has been on the Billboard Hot 100 chart for almost a year. “Sia sings it? Which one is she again?” At press time, Mills was loudly stating that he had never seen Avatar and probably never would.

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