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Award-Winning News Team Keeps Southern Iowa Man In Touch With Southern Iowa

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Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Friend From College Wasted No Time Becoming White-Collar Professional

CHARLOTTE, NC—Noting how his fellow 23-year-old now takes business trips and apparently has a company-issued cell phone, local barista Daniel MacKenzie reported Friday that his friend Eric Sanford—with whom MacKenzie attended the University of Virginia from 2011 to 2015—has wasted no time at all becoming a full-fledged white-collar professional.

Waitress Who Took Over At Table Just Doesn’t Have Same Spark As Richard

FREEPORT, ME—Sensing things wouldn’t be the same once the woman removed their empty potato skin basket without so much as a playful acknowledgment of how much they must have enjoyed the appetizer, patrons at Downeast Grill confirmed Wednesday night that their new waitress, Allie, just didn’t have the same spark Richard had.

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Ronald McDonald Statue Bears Full Brunt Of Teenagers’ Mockery

CLEVELAND—Remaining stoically silent throughout the barrage of vicious insults, unsavory accusations, and various other indignities directed at it, a statue of Ronald McDonald seated on a bench outside the fast-food chain’s Clark Avenue location is said to have borne the full force of a group of teenagers’ mockery Thursday.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.
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Award-Winning News Team Keeps Southern Iowa Man In Touch With Southern Iowa

The Channel Six news team (from L to R): co-anchor Melanie Washbeyer, meteorologist Steve Schaffer, Bob Keenan on sports, and co-anchor Jeff Crim. Inset: Southern Iowa man Cal Fenert, whom News 6 helps keep informed.
The Channel Six news team (from L to R): co-anchor Melanie Washbeyer, meteorologist Steve Schaffer, Bob Keenan on sports, and co-anchor Jeff Crim. Inset: Southern Iowa man Cal Fenert, whom News 6 helps keep informed.

DES MOINES, IA—With its accurate, up-to-the-minute coverage of local news, weather and sports, the award-winning News-6 team keeps Southern Iowa TV viewer Cal Fenert in touch with Southern Iowa, it was learned yesterday.

According to Fenert, “I feel that I can depend on News-6.”

The Des Moines-based News-6, broadcast on local ABC affiliate KNZR, airs nightly at both 6 and 10.

“This means that if I miss the 6 o-clock news,” Fenert said, “I can stay in touch by tuning in to a wrap-up of the news that shapes my world at 10.”

Fenert, a retired auto worker, added: “I look forward to joining anchorpersons Melanie Washbeyer and Jeff Crim, as well as meteorologist Steve Schaffer, with Bob Keenan on sports.”

According to reports, Fenert had only occasionally watched local news in the past; he was not aware that News-6 was putting him in touch with Southern Iowa until he saw its promotional advertisement on TV. In the ad, the News-6 team is shown individually, sitting on stools in front of a soft-colored background accompanied by synthesized music.

“We’re keeping you in touch with Southern Iowa,” Washbeyer says in the promo, looking away from the camera as if talking to a reporter.

Said Fenert, “I am kept in touch because the News-6 van is always on the scene when late-breaking news happens. Their experienced team of reporters is always on the NightBeat.”

Thanks to the three-time local Emmy-nominated news team, Fenert has also been kept in touch with kids and the community.

“News-6 takes time out for kids, and cares about the community,” Fenert said. “That’s why they feature Kid Care Mondays. And that’s also why they feature the Good Neighbor Watch, which once a week profiles someone right here in my own community who’s making a difference.”

“We’re doing our job right if Cal Fenert feels as though he’s in touch with Southern Iowa,” News-6 general manager Neil Roukman said. “When Cal Fenert needs the latest coverage of local events, he can count on News-6.”

Roukman added that, like Fenert, he also cares about kids and the community.

According to reports, when Fenert needs all the local sports scores, Bob Keenan of News-6 Sports provides them.

“I give Cal Fenert the latest pro and college scores and highlights, as well as update him on what’s happening in the high school scene right here in Southern Iowa,” Keenan said. “If you want prep basketball results, there isn’t better coverage in the whole state.”

And Fenert is kept well abreast of local weather conditions by meteorologist Steve Schaffer.

“He employs the latest Doppler radar technology to give me the dependable AccuWeather forecast I need, when I need it,” Fenert said.

Fenert reportedly was kept in touch as recently as last night, when he joined anchorpersons Washbeyer and Crim for the 10 p.m. update.

“I am glad I joined them,” Fenert said. “They put me in touch with the news and events that shape my world, and then they put it all in perspective.”

This, say insiders, is how News-6 can put Fenert in touch with the people and the stories that the other networks can’t.

News-6 is owned by Trans-GlobalMedia Enterprises Worldwide, Inc., a multi-billion dollar company that owns 607 stations across the U.S. The company was also ruled responsible last month for the chemical spill-related deaths of 80,000 workers at its plastics factory in Dharjahal, India.

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