Backwoods Kenyan Just Watches Marathons For The Crashes

In This Section

Vol 42 Issue 04

Hamas Victorious

Following Sharon's replacement and the recent political victory for Hamas, the future of the Middle East looks more uncertain than ever. What do you think?

West Wing Canceled

NBC canceled its critically acclaimed show The West Wing after seven seasons. What do you think?

Yao Ming Living Up To Height Expectations

HOUSTON—Despite initial skepticism among NBA fans and analysts, Rockets center Yao Ming has had no trouble living up to the expectations of coaches and players that he would be 7'5" tall.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Holiday

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Backwoods Kenyan Just Watches Marathons For The Crashes

LODWAR VALLEY, KENYA—Kenyan Cletus Jerop-Ogechi, a currently unemployed welder and self-described "old school" marathon fan, confessed openly Tuesday to enjoying long-distance cross-country running solely for the crashes. "Kenyans is the best in the world at endurance runnin'—ask anyone—but distance runnin' ain't nothing without the occasional old-fashioned low-blood-sugar elbow-to-the-ribs wreck," Ogechi told Runner's World through a translator Tuesday. "You get six, eight, twelve guys in a pack peelin' off five-minute miles and rubbin' shoulders, somethin's got to give. Might as well enjoy it, am I right?" Ogechi's all-time favorite crash occurred during the 2002 Greater Hartford Marathon, in which winner Joseph Nderitu twice spun out Ethiopian entrant Kassahun Kabiso, causing him to limp home a distant second with badly damaged bodywork.
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More