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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Badminton World Rocked By Worst Scandal Since Dad Tapped Aunt Carla's Ass With Racket

LONDON—The entire badminton world remained in a state of shock Thursday following the disqualification of eight athletes from the 2012 Olympics for allegedly throwing their matches, an incident experts are calling the sport’s highest profile scandal since Dad lightly swatted Aunt Carla’s ass with his racket during last year’s family get-together at Uncle Rob’s house. “The shameful actions of these four teams, including the world’s No. 1 women’s pair, are a stain on the sport the likes of which we haven’t seen since Labor Day, when Dad had a few Rolling Rocks and tapped his sister-in-law on her ass right there in front of everyone,” said Badminton World Federation head Thomas Lund, referring to the incident that was said to have been accompanied by a congratulatory “Atta girl” after Aunt Carla successfully served the birdie. “To preserve the integrity of the sport, we will take immediate disciplinary measures against these players in much the same way Mom did when she made Dad switch teams and play on the other side of the net.” Badminton officials agreed, however, that the ongoing scandal still paled in comparison to the devastating black-eye the sport received back on July 4, 2008, when Cousin Kevin pressed the webbing of a Sportcraft racket onto his face, leaving his entire cheek and forehead temporarily covered in small red squares.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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